INCOGNITO

These are the antiques fairs where we do our business, incognito for the most part - a rugby scrum of antiques dealers and keen collectors.

Hundreds of people, not much eye contact - too busy buying and selling.

The inevitable consequence of this is that we recognise many people, have many acquaintances rather than close colleagues, and, more often than not, we never get to know their names. (The fact that most men aged between 40 and 60 are called Dave, Mark or Andy does not actually help.)

Of course, we know some well - here are Jim and Jimmy...

...and here is Mr Benbow, direct descendant of the brave Admiral. Can you see a resemblance, something in the cut of his jib?

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But mostly we do not know the individual names of this motley, eccentric and interesting band of gypsies.

We therefore have a long, long list of nicknames for our fellow antiques-hunters, sometimes based on appearance, sometimes on their personality:

Mr Big Beard, Mr Grey Beard, Mr Fifties Throwback, Curly...

Mr Chatty, Sparky Mark, Lorna Doom, Ms Ennui... 

Sometimes we are a little cheeky:

The Chuckle Brothers, Brian Ferret, Peperami (he's a bit of an animal)...

You may well be wondering if our fellow dealers have a name for us. Apparently, throughout the North East, when we appear the cry goes up,

"Here they come, it's The Boroughbridge Two!"

Which is funny, because we don't live there, never have...

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