Monday 20 January 2014

LOVE YOU !

 
 
 A tiny needlework sampler, perhaps for use as a bookmark, circa 1830
 
I found this little sampler the other day, made as a gift for a dear friend, and I was reminded of that very 19th century relationship, the Romantic or Passionate Friendship.
When he was in his teens young Master F signed off texts and phone calls to his mates with, "Love you!" and "Love you too!", but I suspect this was an ironic posture rather than an expression of sincere feelings towards those other young scamps. 
If I were to send overly affectionate emails and letters to my good friends I think they might be a little alarmed, but in the nineteenth century effusive declarations were commonplace. Here's Emily Dickinson ...

...writing to her friend and, later, sister-in-law, Susan Gilbert:
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"If you were here - and Oh that you were, my Susie, we need not talk at all, our eyes would whisper for us, and your hand fast in mine, we would not ask for language..."
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Just Good Friends? The Ladies of Llangollen, Lady Eleanor Butler and Sarah Ponsonby.

Plas Newydd, their happy home.
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In 1817, Eleanor wrote to her friend, Mrs Montagu:
"I kept my bed all day with one of my dreadful headaches. My Sara, my tender sweet love lay beside me supporting my head till one o'clock...
 
Even their cats were loved up - this painting is still at Plas Newydd.
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"...Mrs Tatters (our cat) uneasy that we did not come downstairs at the usual hour, scratched at our door for admittance, came on the bed to me and lay there till ten o'clock at night purring all the time. A day of tenderness and sensibility." 
 *
 
Louisa May Alcott wrote;
"Perfectly respectable Victorian women wrote to each other in terms such as these: "I hope for you so much, and feel so eager for you...that the expectation once more to see your face again, makes me feel hot and feverish." They recorded the "furnace blast" of their "passionate attachments" to each other. They carved their initials into trees, set flowers in front of one another's portraits, danced together, kissed, held hands, and endured intense jealousies over rivals or small slights."
                                                          
 
However, I cannot imagine that my lowly Victorian ancestors had time or energy to spend on indulging such wild fancies. I did...
 
...but by the 1960s the Beatles were the only objects of my inflamed passion!
 
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12 comments:

  1. The language of love used during the 19th century is interesting to focus on, especially when you consider the impression given of people being very straight laced and no nonsense.
    I remember friends writing rather endearing things in my autograph book, but it was something that we all did without actually considering the intentions of the words.
    I am now looking at the Ladies of Llangollen in a different light!!!

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    1. My friends weren't very affectionate in my autograph book, though I seem to remember one comparing me to Boo-Boo the bear cub, friend and conscience of Yogi - if that counts! I think we were all too busy trying to be witty.

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  2. Nilly my dearest ... I await with eager anticipation your every post. They brighten my day and set my heart a-flutter. I long for the day when we can meet ...
    M xxx

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  3. Tenderness is a stranger to most I fear, but not you Nilly.
    Very sweet post.

    Jean x

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    1. I think young women (and men) have come round to being very open in their affections again - which is good!

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  4. I read "The Ladies of Llangollen" it was such a tender story. Lady Eleanor was denied her inheritance for such a long time, poor thing.

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    1. It is fascinating and moving I agree. Their house is well worth a visit too.

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  5. Such an interesting post nilly, the images are beautiful especially Emily, her dress oooooooh. I love the image of the two Victorian ladies, oooh and their dresses!!!!! I had no idea of the intensity of friendship then.

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    1. The photo of the two young women is by Lady Hawarden. Here are some more:
      http://www.vam.ac.uk/content/articles/l/lady-clementina-hawarden-and-the-v-and-a/
      I think the girls are her daughters.

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  6. Nilly - this has nothing to do with this post so do please delete. I know that you like Mark Hearld's work and thought you might be interested to know that he has dressed the shop window for Plaskitt and Plaskitt, 6 Blossom St, York if you are near there in the near future.

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    1. Thank you for this - I had a look and took some photos - watch this space!

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